Anyone out there?

I've been watching mostly to enjoy reading the critics who cover Idol -- don't know if I'll stay with it. After the Lee debacle, it's hard to care anymore.

For those who liked Idolatry, Michael Slezak has left EW and is now at TVLine.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

I'm just not that into you

I broke up with Idol this week. I'll secret-stalk her by watching Idolatry, but otherwise, we're through.

The five levels of Idol performance

Completely Entertaining
Crystal

Mostly Entertaining
Lee

Not Really Entertaining, But Not Quite Objectionable
The Outlaw Casey James
Big Mike
Tim

So Soul-Crushingly Boring As To Be Objectionable
Siobhan
Katie
Aaron

Entirely Objectionable
Andrew

Style over Substance

Have you noticed that, even though he's all lispy and quiet and sensitive and dorky, Aaron Kelly always stands as though he's hung like a stallion?

Katie has really nice teeth. She also has a great rack.

Heather has already spoken to this (on twitter?): ixnay on the ecknay attootays. And why is Andrew always in clothes that look just a little bit too small for him?

They call him "Big Mike" because his name is Mike, and he's big.
Non sequitur of the night: "I think Simon wants to challenge me to a pec contest."

Kara likes the word "relevant" tonight.
Wow, shilling Fox, Glee, and Coke all within a few moments!

Are Crystal's dingy teeth part of her earthy street cred?
Weirdest theme in this year's contestants: weak or missing eyeteeth.

Tim is pretty. Pretty vacuous! HAR HAR I think he's the fifth Monkee.

Simon just said "whingeing." Britishisms FTW!

Casey James looks like a Jesus Christ Superstar understudy who pays the bills with his job as a waiter at the country club. Where he gets a little sumthin' on the side from the tennis MILFs.

Siobhan is like one of those girls in a romantic teen comedy: she's going to take off her glasses and pull out her hair scrunchy and suddenly be the hot chick no one ever noticed before.

"Earl the Hugger." Really?

Lee and Andrew are dating?? Nice! I hope Andrew likes bagpipes....

That's what SHE said.

"He has a tool." -- Usher, on Casey James

Whatever

So are we all just busy, or not interested in this season's contestants? I just can't muster much enthusiasm for any of these folks. I like Crystal Bowersox, and could like Lee after he practices a bunch, but otherwise I'm pretty meh.

And can anyone explain the big hoo-hah over Siobhan?

The theme this season?

The dominant theme this season seems to be that people aren't "connecting" with their songs (which I totally agree with) but how much can they connect with songs they haven't written and possibly haven't heard before?  How much can a 17 year old relate to Stevie Nicks or (especially) Carole King?  I feel like Carole King sprung from the womb an old soul before she ever dated James Taylor and went through whatever she went through when she wrote songs like Natural Woman. 

A great example: Lily Scott's tampon commercialization of Patsy Cline.  That made me angry.  How did the judges like that terribly perky take on Patsy?