Here's how this goes: Kara backhandedly insults their singing by complimenting their looks and "package-ness," Paula basically parrots what Kara said, then they all tell them they chose the wrong song. How is that helpful or constructive? Everyone sounded out of breath tonight and I don't know if they were just nervous or if it was cold in there, or what?
Jasmine: This was so painful. And I love that song, so . . . sadness!
Matt: This was so painful. He sounded like a goat.
Jeanine: This was so painful. Why did these people get this far? And what was the whole inside joke going on about lips between Simon and Kara?
Nick/Norman: I would like to see him get a job doing crazy interviews with people online. But he needs to go.
Allison: Finally. Someone can sing! Loved her.
Kris: Oh, ouch. I don't care for Man in the Mirror anyway, and he sort of butchered it in places.
Megan: She's so adorable! She's going to die when she sees how twitchy she looked up there. I want her to stick around.
Matt: I love his slow-motion robot dance. His singing was unfortunately boring.
Jesse: I like her, and I like that she chose Betty Davis Eyes. She is sort of forgettable but I hope she gets to the next round. She seems more comfortable on camera than most and her body is banging.
Kai: Boooooooooooooooring.
Mishavonna: I actually really liked this. I thought her voice sounded far fuller than anyone else. And that dress? I covet it.
Adam: That was too over the top for me, too Stones-on-jazzercize for me, but it was solid singing and he deserves to go through.
My picks: Allison, Megan, Mishavonna.
Thursday:
You know what's my favorite thing about Tivo? Fast-forwarding through those horrible group numbers. I watched the whole episode in ten minutes flat.
Allison. Fantastic!
Matt. What?
Oh hey, it's the Coal Miner's Daughter again. Still hate her. BloopBloop, thanks Tivo!
Adam. Of course.
Who will we see in the wildcard round? I'm guessing Tatiana will rear her crazy head again, and maybe Mishavonna?
I love the closing dance montage at the end. Especially when it includes the blind guy. High five! Oh, wait . . .
Thursday, February 26, 2009
surprisingly not that sad my tivo freaked out
So I missed half of the performances and tried to catch them on youtube, but from what I saw I didn't miss that much.
I love Norman -- I'd be perfectly happy to see him advance. Adam and Allison were good, but after that I'd go with Norman!
I love Norman -- I'd be perfectly happy to see him advance. Adam and Allison were good, but after that I'd go with Norman!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Suckage de la Suckage
Ryan is going to mow the lawn? A polo shirt and jeans? Really? He does realize that this is not the rehearsal, right?
Jasmine: Beautiful girl...I really wanted it to be good but you can't always get what you want.
Matt: His Georgia on My Mind in Hollywood was brillz. This was not.
Jeanine: Paula's right. She has great legs.
Nick/Norman: He's no longer good tv. Not funny. Not cool. Definitely not going to the Top 12.
Allison: Loved it. Now that's a bad-ass 16 year old.
Kris: I thought it was terrible, but Simon liked it??? Is he high?
Megan: I like her - I want her to go through.
Matt: Snoozefest.
Jesse: Meh.
Kai: I really wanted to like him, prolly 'cause he's cute. Nah, I also like that he takes care of his mama. His singing was underwhelming, though.
Mishavonna: I'm on the fence on this one. Mostly underwhelming, but there was something I liked about it.
Adam: Rulz. I lovelovelove him. Also, I would like to have a beer with him.
Oh, and Brandon, the mention of "singing the phonebook" merits a drink.
Going through: Allison, Adam, Megan (and I wouldn't be surprised to see Matt as a wild card pick)
Jasmine: Beautiful girl...I really wanted it to be good but you can't always get what you want.
Matt: His Georgia on My Mind in Hollywood was brillz. This was not.
Jeanine: Paula's right. She has great legs.
Nick/Norman: He's no longer good tv. Not funny. Not cool. Definitely not going to the Top 12.
Allison: Loved it. Now that's a bad-ass 16 year old.
Kris: I thought it was terrible, but Simon liked it??? Is he high?
Megan: I like her - I want her to go through.
Matt: Snoozefest.
Jesse: Meh.
Kai: I really wanted to like him, prolly 'cause he's cute. Nah, I also like that he takes care of his mama. His singing was underwhelming, though.
Mishavonna: I'm on the fence on this one. Mostly underwhelming, but there was something I liked about it.
Adam: Rulz. I lovelovelove him. Also, I would like to have a beer with him.
Oh, and Brandon, the mention of "singing the phonebook" merits a drink.
Going through: Allison, Adam, Megan (and I wouldn't be surprised to see Matt as a wild card pick)
Another Dozen
Jasmine: Pitchy, dawg. Mildly pleasant.
(Did Ryan get to the studio too late for wardrobe?)
Matt: Breathe, dude! Kind of a mess.
(They're not talking to family members tonight; I don't miss it.)
Jeanine: Cruise ship. Hotel lounge.
(So far, three for three wrecking songs I really like.)
Nick/Norman: Fabulous. In every sense.
(I get why Simon hates this... but c'mon, the guy can really sing.)
(Ah, the Red Room at last. I was thinking they'd abandoned it.)
Allison: That was fun. Kinda Mini-Clarkson.
(Do we like what she's wearing? I can't decide.)
Kris: Nice enough. Cute will get him some extra votes.
(Heh. Ryan thinks you get "more happy" from looking in a mirror.)
Megan: I like it. But I think the strange vocals could get old fast.
(What are those weird dance moves? Did she practice on her Wii Fit?)
What Simon just said about Megan could apply to LOTS of the performances tonight: strong start, and then some shout-y over-singing as it went along.
Matt: Bo-ring.
Jesse: That was perfectly fine, but...???
(Can't stop thinking "Marty Feldman Eyes".)
Kai: Good, but kind of bland.
(Nice Simon quote: "It was sort of capable.")
(When does hair and wardrobe kick in? Too bad Kai won't benefit.)
Mishavonna: Those eh-ehh-ehh-eh-eh-eh's sound like a porpoise.
Adam: I like his anime hair better than his screechy voice.
Nice dreamy-eyes at the camera, Edward Cullen.
He's like the black-sheep Jonas brother.
Allison, Adam, Kris, Megan, Nick/Norman.
(Did Ryan get to the studio too late for wardrobe?)
Matt: Breathe, dude! Kind of a mess.
(They're not talking to family members tonight; I don't miss it.)
Jeanine: Cruise ship. Hotel lounge.
(So far, three for three wrecking songs I really like.)
Nick/Norman: Fabulous. In every sense.
(I get why Simon hates this... but c'mon, the guy can really sing.)
(Ah, the Red Room at last. I was thinking they'd abandoned it.)
Allison: That was fun. Kinda Mini-Clarkson.
(Do we like what she's wearing? I can't decide.)
Kris: Nice enough. Cute will get him some extra votes.
(Heh. Ryan thinks you get "more happy" from looking in a mirror.)
Megan: I like it. But I think the strange vocals could get old fast.
(What are those weird dance moves? Did she practice on her Wii Fit?)
What Simon just said about Megan could apply to LOTS of the performances tonight: strong start, and then some shout-y over-singing as it went along.
Matt: Bo-ring.
Jesse: That was perfectly fine, but...???
(Can't stop thinking "Marty Feldman Eyes".)
Kai: Good, but kind of bland.
(Nice Simon quote: "It was sort of capable.")
(When does hair and wardrobe kick in? Too bad Kai won't benefit.)
Mishavonna: Those eh-ehh-ehh-eh-eh-eh's sound like a porpoise.
Adam: I like his anime hair better than his screechy voice.
Nice dreamy-eyes at the camera, Edward Cullen.
He's like the black-sheep Jonas brother.
Allison, Adam, Kris, Megan, Nick/Norman.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Us in Vlog form
Do you all watch Idolatry? This is what I imagine we would be like if we worked in the Entertainment Weekly offices.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
First Results -- but no spoilers.
Gregory, doesn't Alexis look a little like Sylvia/Tamara? And her dad is blonde Meatloaf, and he's crying, I love him.
It's sure nicer to hear the winners sing instead of the losers -- I always thought having to repeat the performance that got you canned would suck.
Carly and Michael from last season are singing "The Letter", which they sang in the finale last year -- WTF? Michael says he has a single coming out in a couple weeks, so why isn't he doing that? Weird.
I completely agree with the voting. Lord knows that'll probably never happen again. Tatiana is going to hyperventilate and pass out on stage!
It's sure nicer to hear the winners sing instead of the losers -- I always thought having to repeat the performance that got you canned would suck.
Carly and Michael from last season are singing "The Letter", which they sang in the finale last year -- WTF? Michael says he has a single coming out in a couple weeks, so why isn't he doing that? Weird.
I completely agree with the voting. Lord knows that'll probably never happen again. Tatiana is going to hyperventilate and pass out on stage!
TiVo delay
I watch the intro packages, the singing, and I try to get through the judges' comments, but I have to admit I end up fast forwarding through a lot. So far I can't say that Kara has really added anything to the show -- I like her fine, but she hasn't said anything particularly useful.
So after 3 weeks we'll have 9 people chosen, and then have to pick another 3 out of the 27 who are left -- how is that going to work?
Now we know where the pants Olivia Newton-John wore in the final scene of Grease went -- Jackie Tohn has them.
Why is Paula already crying?
Oooh, Ted Danson in the house -- are they pimping "Damages"? I tried to watch that show, but their big reveal conceit got old really fast.
Brent Keith, the country guy -- I didn't even make it through the entire performance. Borrrrring.
Mwaahaha -- Simon: "What HAS happened to Bucky Covington?" Now I remember why I love Simon.
First painful moment of the season -- Stevie Wright. Damn, that was flat awful. That wouldn't be considered good at karaoke. How did she get this far? Anyone remember her being any good? Ugh, fast forwarding to hear the judges crap all over all it. Bye bye Stevie.
Oh, Anoop -- I wanted to root for you because you seem like a fellow geek, but this was a snoozer. Fast forwarding.
The contestants are getting a nice amount of time this early to actually sing, which I really appreciate. Or not, depending on the singer, but we definitely have enough time to hear them. The lack of scripted programming these days is a plus in one way, at least.
Oh no Casey didn't say she's singing Every Little Thing She Does -- oh yes she did. This girl is dead to me, and she sucked enough that she'll be dead to everyone else too. Maybe she can join Haley Scarnato and tour senior centers. Oh jesus, make it stop! Didn't anyone learn from Chris what's his name butchering this a year or two ago?
Roughneck dude picked an awesome song, and I agree with Gregory that the backup singers and arrangement really helped -- it might be enough to get him through, I don't know. He doesn't have the voice to carry this off, he faded out in the second half of the phrases in the chorus.
Anne Marie can join Casey and Haley at the Ramada Inn. Ewwwww. Paula's all nuts again, how can anyone use the word "soul" in relation to this performance? Go Simon!
Can someone turn Stephen up half a step? He's flat, flat, flat. Damn, that was uncomfortable.
Has Tatiana ever heard what Randy and Simon say about doing Whitney songs, particularly this one? Apparently not, dumbass. Bye bye annoying self-absorbed chick.
Are the seats wired to give electric shocks that force the audience to give standing ovations? Give me a break.
I didn't want to like Danny, and I don't like Hero as a song, but strangely I thought it was quite good.
Strange, my picks are also my guesses as to what voters will do this year -- Girl: Alexis. Guy: Danny or Roughneck guy. Third person: Anoop? I wouldn't mind seeing Jackie get another go.
Crap, I think my TiVo is dying. This is not a good thing when you're unemployed an a tv addict.
So after 3 weeks we'll have 9 people chosen, and then have to pick another 3 out of the 27 who are left -- how is that going to work?
Now we know where the pants Olivia Newton-John wore in the final scene of Grease went -- Jackie Tohn has them.
Why is Paula already crying?
Oooh, Ted Danson in the house -- are they pimping "Damages"? I tried to watch that show, but their big reveal conceit got old really fast.
Brent Keith, the country guy -- I didn't even make it through the entire performance. Borrrrring.
Mwaahaha -- Simon: "What HAS happened to Bucky Covington?" Now I remember why I love Simon.
First painful moment of the season -- Stevie Wright. Damn, that was flat awful. That wouldn't be considered good at karaoke. How did she get this far? Anyone remember her being any good? Ugh, fast forwarding to hear the judges crap all over all it. Bye bye Stevie.
Oh, Anoop -- I wanted to root for you because you seem like a fellow geek, but this was a snoozer. Fast forwarding.
The contestants are getting a nice amount of time this early to actually sing, which I really appreciate. Or not, depending on the singer, but we definitely have enough time to hear them. The lack of scripted programming these days is a plus in one way, at least.
Oh no Casey didn't say she's singing Every Little Thing She Does -- oh yes she did. This girl is dead to me, and she sucked enough that she'll be dead to everyone else too. Maybe she can join Haley Scarnato and tour senior centers. Oh jesus, make it stop! Didn't anyone learn from Chris what's his name butchering this a year or two ago?
Roughneck dude picked an awesome song, and I agree with Gregory that the backup singers and arrangement really helped -- it might be enough to get him through, I don't know. He doesn't have the voice to carry this off, he faded out in the second half of the phrases in the chorus.
Anne Marie can join Casey and Haley at the Ramada Inn. Ewwwww. Paula's all nuts again, how can anyone use the word "soul" in relation to this performance? Go Simon!
Can someone turn Stephen up half a step? He's flat, flat, flat. Damn, that was uncomfortable.
Has Tatiana ever heard what Randy and Simon say about doing Whitney songs, particularly this one? Apparently not, dumbass. Bye bye annoying self-absorbed chick.
Are the seats wired to give electric shocks that force the audience to give standing ovations? Give me a break.
I didn't want to like Danny, and I don't like Hero as a song, but strangely I thought it was quite good.
Strange, my picks are also my guesses as to what voters will do this year -- Girl: Alexis. Guy: Danny or Roughneck guy. Third person: Anoop? I wouldn't mind seeing Jackie get another go.
Crap, I think my TiVo is dying. This is not a good thing when you're unemployed an a tv addict.
Ewww
I'm catching up on last night's show, and I just got done watching Stevie. I had a headache before, but damn. I may have accidentally recorded a bad high school talent show.
And apparently you all were drunk last night. Fill me in on the drinking game!
Skip to Casey... poor thing, but Paula's comment about phrasing: Does Paula actually listen to herself speak? She can't even phrase normal sentences correctly.
And apparently you all were drunk last night. Fill me in on the drinking game!
Skip to Casey... poor thing, but Paula's comment about phrasing: Does Paula actually listen to herself speak? She can't even phrase normal sentences correctly.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Top 12 out of 36 divided by three divided by four times three equals 12
12, 12, and 12? Top boy and girl go through? Wild card? Huh? I’m confused already. So how’s that gonna work? Is it on four nights this week? Results on Tuesday and then performances? All I know about Wild Card is that Clay Aiken was one and I loved Clay Aiken.
Jackie Tohn: Doesn't ‘tohn’ mean tuna in Spanish? French? And what’s with the outfit? It’s like a cross between Minnie Mouse and a Bratz Doll. It was a’ight – better than average. I kinda like her Janice Joplinesque voice.
Ricky Braddy: Elliot Yamin did that song in S5 and it was WAY better. I think I like his velvet blazer, though. Is it burgundy? If so, then I like it even more. Oh jeez, I’m pulling a Paula and saying something nice about everyone – I gotta knock that crap off. Dudes. The judges – they’ve been sippin’ from Paula’s cup.
Anne Marie Boskovich: I think that was pretty good – I can’t find anything to make fun of. Am I tone deaf, ‘cause the judges didn’t like it so much? She’s cute – maybe I been duped on account of that.
Stephen Fowler: Oh, poor guy – he thinks he’s doing well, but ‘tis not so.
Tatiana Del Toro: She actually has a great voice. Too bad, ‘cause she’s kinda batshit crazy. They need to muzzle that laugh, though.
Danny Gokey: Ooh, I hate that reaching out to the camera maneuver. That was a’ight. I wanted to like it, but it was just a’ight.
So wait, three people go through? I thought he said one boy and one girl earlier? What’s the third one, then, and where will he/she/it come from? So then there would be nine – how does that make top 12? I still don’t get it.
Going through (I much prefer venturing on the going home - sooooo much easier): (three, right?) Alexis, Danny and Anoop dog or Tatiana (say it ain't so)? Not going anywhere (ever): Casey and Stevie.
One dozen
Jackie: A little frantic. Fun. And apparently she can telekinetically control the elements, so watch out. Finger - drink!
Ricky: This is top 36?? Must. Stay. Awake. Can't. Close. My. Fingers - drink!
Alexis: Loved it. Strong arrangement really helped. Fingers - drink!
Brent: I always wanted to be bow-legged. Nice dimples. NO finge... oh wait. Fingers - drink!
Stevie: Oh. No.
Anoop: Looks like Kumar, dresses like Peter Brady. This is very (bland?) pleasant. Fancy fingers - drink twice!
Casey: Barbie-skank butchering the Police. Lisa's on the warpath!!
NO FINGERS! Casey deserves a few votes just for that.
Michael: Oil Rig ROUGHNECK? Can I be a "middle school book wrangler"?
Another really good arrangement. Please thank the back-up singers.
Ann Marie: Nothing specifically wrong... but... ??? I KNEW Simon was going to say lounge/hotel/cruise ship/cabaret/variety show/some other shorthand for generic.
Stephen: Recalled the original and still made it his own. Now if only he could stay in key.
Tatiana:
Danny: That was very Idol. Thank you Simon, voice of reason.
Alexis, Danny, Michael, Tatiana, Anoop.
Ricky: This is top 36?? Must. Stay. Awake. Can't. Close. My.
Alexis: Loved it. Strong arrangement really helped. Fingers - drink!
Brent: I always wanted to be bow-legged. Nice dimples. NO finge... oh wait. Fingers - drink!
Stevie: Oh. No.
Anoop: Looks like Kumar, dresses like Peter Brady. This is very (bland?) pleasant. Fancy fingers - drink twice!
Casey: Barbie-skank butchering the Police. Lisa's on the warpath!!
NO FINGERS! Casey deserves a few votes just for that.
Michael: Oil Rig ROUGHNECK? Can I be a "middle school book wrangler"?
Another really good arrangement. Please thank the back-up singers.
Ann Marie: Nothing specifically wrong... but... ??? I KNEW Simon was going to say lounge/hotel/cruise ship/cabaret/variety show/some other shorthand for generic.
Stephen: Recalled the original and still made it his own. Now if only he could stay in key.
Tatiana:
Danny: That was very Idol. Thank you Simon, voice of reason.
Alexis, Danny, Michael, Tatiana, Anoop.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
From Justin to Kelly
FJ2K, the American Idol musical, finally worked its way to the top of my Netflix queue when I wasn't looking. Perfect timing, really, as the new season is just heating up and I'm stuck at home this VD/Prez weekend with an annoying cold.
So here are a few notes. C'mon, you know you've always wondered....
The plot is nearly non-existent, and the atrocious writing doesn't help it make any more sense, but the musical numbers are cheese-tastic. There are a couple groovy dance numbers ("The Bounce" and "Brighter Star") where everyone is dancing in unison, and I'm a total sucker for that. But all the songs sound like they were written for a 1970's rip-off of a Xanadu sequel, composed on a Casio and recorded in a four-track home studio. Pleasant, but forgettable.
Justin doesn't ever take off his shirt, probably because he's such a scarecrow compared to the rest of the beefcake in the movie. Kelly is also far and away the most modestly dressed woman on the beach, but this fits her character as it is "developed" in the "story."
High School Musical minus Grease plus MTV's Spring Break divided by Blue Crush factored by an early Britney video equals FJ2K.
There should be a whole series of these: From Jordin to Blake; From Carrie to Bo; From Ruben to Clay; From David to David....
The Big Finish in FJ2K is a remake of "That's the Way I Like It" by KC and the Sunshine Band that goes all hip-hop in the middle. It kinda looks like one of those Ford commercials they do with the finalists.
My final verdict: Lots of good looking people in beach attire, some fun dancing. With no other assets, I recommend watching only the group musical numbers, and maybe a couple of the romantic duets if you're a Kelly Clarkson fan.
So here are a few notes. C'mon, you know you've always wondered....
The plot is nearly non-existent, and the atrocious writing doesn't help it make any more sense, but the musical numbers are cheese-tastic. There are a couple groovy dance numbers ("The Bounce" and "Brighter Star") where everyone is dancing in unison, and I'm a total sucker for that. But all the songs sound like they were written for a 1970's rip-off of a Xanadu sequel, composed on a Casio and recorded in a four-track home studio. Pleasant, but forgettable.
Justin doesn't ever take off his shirt, probably because he's such a scarecrow compared to the rest of the beefcake in the movie. Kelly is also far and away the most modestly dressed woman on the beach, but this fits her character as it is "developed" in the "story."
High School Musical minus Grease plus MTV's Spring Break divided by Blue Crush factored by an early Britney video equals FJ2K.
There should be a whole series of these: From Jordin to Blake; From Carrie to Bo; From Ruben to Clay; From David to David....
The Big Finish in FJ2K is a remake of "That's the Way I Like It" by KC and the Sunshine Band that goes all hip-hop in the middle. It kinda looks like one of those Ford commercials they do with the finalists.
My final verdict: Lots of good looking people in beach attire, some fun dancing. With no other assets, I recommend watching only the group musical numbers, and maybe a couple of the romantic duets if you're a Kelly Clarkson fan.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
One down...
Joanna Pacitti was disqualified from the show. It seems odd that it would be because of her past since recording contracts haven't stopped others. Go here for more info.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Big Red Chair
After just a few minutes, I think I can say this mansion thing is stupid.
Vaughan is ridiculously intense. Is tonight's show just going to be people crying a lot? I like to cry and all, but... oh my God. Two hours? This is really going to take two hours?
Ooo... sing off... dramatic. "Okay, I'll just wait outside." Duh, Alex. "I'm just going to run to Starbucks."
I want one of these chairs for my classroom. Then I can make my students do sing offs... or English offs. This is just more cruel than in past seasons. It kind of takes the joy out of it for whomever beats the other person. Totally awkward.
Nathanial praying to a chair and Tatiana breaking down in the hot seat. Neither of those things are surprising as teasers.
It's 7:42, and I realize I've wasted 42 minutes of my night watching this. Not that I'd be doing something useful. I left papers at work, and I'm certainly not thinking of things to get ready for the inservice Friday. Maybe I'll eat some ice cream.
"I think your relationship with your instrument..." We shouldn't start sentences like this. I guess singing "I'm going home..." wasn't a sign.
Maybe Nathanial and Tatiana will have to do a sing off before they are both kicked off.
Frankie Jordan singing Brandi Carlile. No no no. Only Brandi Carlile should be allowed to sing that song. Seriously. At least Frankie's husband and baby are cute.
Oh my. Tatiana is wearing Paula's jewelry. Tatiana's nervous giggles make me nervous. I'm always nervous, but this goes up a new level. Eff. I have to deal with her for awhile longer. I think Simon might have just kind of kissed her, but it looked like he was smelling her hair. Creeper. Jeez. Stop screaming. AuuugGGGHHhhhhhOOHHHhhhhooooooo!
Obviously I would make a poor judge since Tatiana and Nathanial are on.
And finally, good for the welder and the rough neck. Did you know they were blue collar workers? I mean it's not like the set up for these two really focuses on... oh wait. Thanks for reminding us of something we already knew, AI.
Another three weeks until we have the top 20. Does it usually take this long? Can't we just get to the final three right now?
Vaughan is ridiculously intense. Is tonight's show just going to be people crying a lot? I like to cry and all, but... oh my God. Two hours? This is really going to take two hours?
Ooo... sing off... dramatic. "Okay, I'll just wait outside." Duh, Alex. "I'm just going to run to Starbucks."
I want one of these chairs for my classroom. Then I can make my students do sing offs... or English offs. This is just more cruel than in past seasons. It kind of takes the joy out of it for whomever beats the other person. Totally awkward.
Nathanial praying to a chair and Tatiana breaking down in the hot seat. Neither of those things are surprising as teasers.
It's 7:42, and I realize I've wasted 42 minutes of my night watching this. Not that I'd be doing something useful. I left papers at work, and I'm certainly not thinking of things to get ready for the inservice Friday. Maybe I'll eat some ice cream.
"I think your relationship with your instrument..." We shouldn't start sentences like this. I guess singing "I'm going home..." wasn't a sign.
Maybe Nathanial and Tatiana will have to do a sing off before they are both kicked off.
Frankie Jordan singing Brandi Carlile. No no no. Only Brandi Carlile should be allowed to sing that song. Seriously. At least Frankie's husband and baby are cute.
Oh my. Tatiana is wearing Paula's jewelry. Tatiana's nervous giggles make me nervous. I'm always nervous, but this goes up a new level. Eff. I have to deal with her for awhile longer. I think Simon might have just kind of kissed her, but it looked like he was smelling her hair. Creeper. Jeez. Stop screaming. AuuugGGGHHhhhhhOOHHHhhhhooooooo!
Obviously I would make a poor judge since Tatiana and Nathanial are on.
And finally, good for the welder and the rough neck. Did you know they were blue collar workers? I mean it's not like the set up for these two really focuses on... oh wait. Thanks for reminding us of something we already knew, AI.
Another three weeks until we have the top 20. Does it usually take this long? Can't we just get to the final three right now?
Bleh
After seeing Paula's dress at the Grammys (no, I don't watch the Grammys but I watch the fashion recap shows -- which only Gregory will understand how totally bizarre that is considering what I look/dress like), not much shocks me about her clothing anymore.
I guess I'm the only one who kind of likes Norman/Nathaniel/whoever -- he actually has quite a nice voice, I'm just really lost as to why he keeps going with the vaguely funny bits in a singing competition. I would like the opportunity to choke the life out of Tatiana with my bare hands.
Again, they hardly show us any singing. And the show coming up tonight is the one I like least every year -- no performances, just people making a long annoying walk and sitting in a chair. I don't know anyone well enough to be emotionally invested in them staying; I hate some people, but that's not enough to get me through the hour. On to next week!
Melinda Doolittle is on Ellen today (I'm unemployed, I watch daytime tv) -- she was really good, I looked forward to her every week. And now it's a commercial for a traveling version of Fiddler on the Roof starring Topol -- hasn't he been doing this role since I was born? He doesn't look ancient, did he start when he was 12? Weird.
I guess I'm the only one who kind of likes Norman/Nathaniel/whoever -- he actually has quite a nice voice, I'm just really lost as to why he keeps going with the vaguely funny bits in a singing competition. I would like the opportunity to choke the life out of Tatiana with my bare hands.
Again, they hardly show us any singing. And the show coming up tonight is the one I like least every year -- no performances, just people making a long annoying walk and sitting in a chair. I don't know anyone well enough to be emotionally invested in them staying; I hate some people, but that's not enough to get me through the hour. On to next week!
Melinda Doolittle is on Ellen today (I'm unemployed, I watch daytime tv) -- she was really good, I looked forward to her every week. And now it's a commercial for a traveling version of Fiddler on the Roof starring Topol -- hasn't he been doing this role since I was born? He doesn't look ancient, did he start when he was 12? Weird.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tatiana goes home tomorrow, right?
I loathe Tatiana. She's being kept on by the producers, no? They're going to take her out in a rowboat on the lake tomorrow, right? So the first room she was in was the first to find out they made it to the next stage, so they clearly moved her just to fuck with her. I love it. I wish they had moved her one last time, just to really set her on edge.
And I don't know what's worse--Paula's broken CDs on a string or Randy's "necklaces" which were PAINTED ON HIS SHIRT. And did Simon catch his plane with a box of Kools in his hand? I don't know what it is about this season, but I've been seriously enamored of Simon. The way he smiles when he really likes someone, the way he can seem to tell the difference between crap and talent? What is happening to me?
Also, Blind Guy? 1982 called and they are CRAZY for you! Meh.
And I don't know what's worse--Paula's broken CDs on a string or Randy's "necklaces" which were PAINTED ON HIS SHIRT. And did Simon catch his plane with a box of Kools in his hand? I don't know what it is about this season, but I've been seriously enamored of Simon. The way he smiles when he really likes someone, the way he can seem to tell the difference between crap and talent? What is happening to me?
Also, Blind Guy? 1982 called and they are CRAZY for you! Meh.
Paula and the magic invisible lasso
Straight up now tell me what the hell was that around your neck, Paula? Were you involved in a hit-and-run? Straight up now tell me do you think a mirror should last forever? Or are you breaking mirrors just for fun? I wish Paula would sell her happy pills on QVC instead of that crappy jewelry. I'd so buy some of those - imagine the fun of the American Idol Drinking Game with Paula's happy pills thrown into the mix (Brandon: we'll bring you up to speed on the Drinking Game and encourage you to add some of your own rules, as well. It evolves a little each season).
So, Tatiana's a plant, right? You know she's gonna be in the top 36 just because she makes for good tv. And either Norman von Crazynutbar or Nathanial McDramaqueen will be joining her. I love how her added presence to the second room she was put into freaked the other contestants out and led them to believe that they were going home. (And, yes, you are correct about that song being the kiss of death, Brandon).
How long would tonight's show have been if all of the recap moments were edited out? Maybe 17 minutes at best? There had to have been more actual material to air (that hadn't already aired) such as, oh, I don't know, singing perhaps? That's probably just as well because I might have gotten attached to someone only to have to bid them adieu. And I've got issues.
So, Tatiana's a plant, right? You know she's gonna be in the top 36 just because she makes for good tv. And either Norman von Crazynutbar or Nathanial McDramaqueen will be joining her. I love how her added presence to the second room she was put into freaked the other contestants out and led them to believe that they were going home. (And, yes, you are correct about that song being the kiss of death, Brandon).
How long would tonight's show have been if all of the recap moments were edited out? Maybe 17 minutes at best? There had to have been more actual material to air (that hadn't already aired) such as, oh, I don't know, singing perhaps? That's probably just as well because I might have gotten attached to someone only to have to bid them adieu. And I've got issues.
This is Do or Die!!
Dang... do or die? Really, Seacrest? You're such a drama queen. It's an effing talent show. Just because I get emotionally involved with the show, cry with the contestants, and swear to never watch again doesn't mean it's a do or die type of show.
It's kind of weird to pick up where things left off last week.* Who has the attention span to even remember how these people performed last Thursday? Those sad, nervous looks are how my students look all the time. *Oh, wait. The show is using a framing device. Tricky, AI. Now we get to see their individual performances. I obviously have no idea what is going on.
Paula just said "package."
I am a fan of sweeping cameras when someone plays the piano. I find it incredibly dramatic. I still remember one with Brooke White from last year; every time they did it, I sighed contentedly.
I like how the judges aren't giving feedback on the individual performances, but they're giving standing ovations and giving nods of approval and hooting. Way to keep cool, judges.
I think Paula might pee her pants. I think she's been keeping the crazy at bay for the last couple of weeks, but she's starting to let it out.
Oh, no. Scott is singing the going home song. Is that the wisest song choice? "I just found out Paula gave me a standing ovation. I didn't see that..." Umm... he knows he's blind, right?
Seriously. We see 20 second clips of the songs. How the hell are we supposed to care about their voices and songs? All we're really seeing are people singing past winners' songs poorly.
Tatiana is as crazy as Whitney Houston.
I might start wearing headbands like Nathanial. I think that could be my new look.
Joanna Pacitti... we didn't hear much of her during the last couple of weeks... and OMG! She totally forgot the lyrics. And now a series of flubbed lyrics. Oh, I feel worse for the guy who started over.
I'm sad that Tivo just caught up with the live TV, so I can't fast forward through commercials any more. What an inconvenience.
Please, God, don't let Norman Gentle move on. It's as painful as keeping Sanjaya on for so long in season six. If I were to be put in the holding room with him, I would assume I'd be packing my bags.
Is Tatiana just standing in a hallway? Did I miss where they put her?
I hope I never hear "I Hope You Dance" again.
So, everyone must have had three songs to choose from. Boring.
I hope they keep moving Tatiana. I think it would be hilarious if they put her in all of the rooms and then just pushed her out the door.
How nice of Simon to abandon the judges when it comes time to delivering bad news.
Paula needs to work on her acting skills. It's so obvious that room was going to be a fake out. Yay for them.
This room is so going home. Cue tears. We didn't really care too much about most of those people did we? Well, Linisha... I kind of cared about her. Poor thing.
Room 1: "How are you all feeling?" Mumblemumblemumble... Good for Room 1.
Meanwhile, in the other room. Analyzing the screams. Oh for God's sake. Tatiana.
I still don't care about most of these people.
The Judge's Mansion??? What in the world? Will contestants receive a rose if they're still in? Oh, Idol. You play with my fickle heart.
It's kind of weird to pick up where things left off last week.* Who has the attention span to even remember how these people performed last Thursday? Those sad, nervous looks are how my students look all the time. *Oh, wait. The show is using a framing device. Tricky, AI. Now we get to see their individual performances. I obviously have no idea what is going on.
Paula just said "package."
I am a fan of sweeping cameras when someone plays the piano. I find it incredibly dramatic. I still remember one with Brooke White from last year; every time they did it, I sighed contentedly.
I like how the judges aren't giving feedback on the individual performances, but they're giving standing ovations and giving nods of approval and hooting. Way to keep cool, judges.
I think Paula might pee her pants. I think she's been keeping the crazy at bay for the last couple of weeks, but she's starting to let it out.
Oh, no. Scott is singing the going home song. Is that the wisest song choice? "I just found out Paula gave me a standing ovation. I didn't see that..." Umm... he knows he's blind, right?
Seriously. We see 20 second clips of the songs. How the hell are we supposed to care about their voices and songs? All we're really seeing are people singing past winners' songs poorly.
Tatiana is as crazy as Whitney Houston.
I might start wearing headbands like Nathanial. I think that could be my new look.
Joanna Pacitti... we didn't hear much of her during the last couple of weeks... and OMG! She totally forgot the lyrics. And now a series of flubbed lyrics. Oh, I feel worse for the guy who started over.
I'm sad that Tivo just caught up with the live TV, so I can't fast forward through commercials any more. What an inconvenience.
Please, God, don't let Norman Gentle move on. It's as painful as keeping Sanjaya on for so long in season six. If I were to be put in the holding room with him, I would assume I'd be packing my bags.
Is Tatiana just standing in a hallway? Did I miss where they put her?
I hope I never hear "I Hope You Dance" again.
So, everyone must have had three songs to choose from. Boring.
I hope they keep moving Tatiana. I think it would be hilarious if they put her in all of the rooms and then just pushed her out the door.
How nice of Simon to abandon the judges when it comes time to delivering bad news.
Paula needs to work on her acting skills. It's so obvious that room was going to be a fake out. Yay for them.
This room is so going home. Cue tears. We didn't really care too much about most of those people did we? Well, Linisha... I kind of cared about her. Poor thing.
Room 1: "How are you all feeling?" Mumblemumblemumble... Good for Room 1.
Meanwhile, in the other room. Analyzing the screams. Oh for God's sake. Tatiana.
I still don't care about most of these people.
The Judge's Mansion??? What in the world? Will contestants receive a rose if they're still in? Oh, Idol. You play with my fickle heart.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Hooray for Hollywood
But only because that means it's closer to the real thing.
I like that guy who auditioned in San Francisco - I want to say his name is Adam...might that be the pseudo punker guy you are referring to, G? I still like dead-wife guy. There were a few others who I noticed, too, but I had to watch from afar and so names and details are escaping me.
I'm getting tired of the comedian guy who won't stop trying to be a comedian - is he being kept around just because he makes for good tv (which is why bikini girl got to stick around for a bit)? Haven't seen Jason Castro's brother around. Kinda sad to see Rose and her stinky feet go - there was something about her I liked. I guess I must just have a soft spot for contestants with matted hair (hi Jason Castro!).
Brandon, your Heidi Klum/Nina Garcia comments were brillz. I love what a bitch Nina Garcia is. (Yes I did just end a sentence with 'is.' See, I just did it again).
I like that guy who auditioned in San Francisco - I want to say his name is Adam...might that be the pseudo punker guy you are referring to, G? I still like dead-wife guy. There were a few others who I noticed, too, but I had to watch from afar and so names and details are escaping me.
I'm getting tired of the comedian guy who won't stop trying to be a comedian - is he being kept around just because he makes for good tv (which is why bikini girl got to stick around for a bit)? Haven't seen Jason Castro's brother around. Kinda sad to see Rose and her stinky feet go - there was something about her I liked. I guess I must just have a soft spot for contestants with matted hair (hi Jason Castro!).
Brandon, your Heidi Klum/Nina Garcia comments were brillz. I love what a bitch Nina Garcia is. (Yes I did just end a sentence with 'is.' See, I just did it again).
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Drama!
I guess the theme for tonight was DRAMA! And Tatiana, aka Giggles the Dramabot, is the Queen. I can't believe they kept her around. At least bikini girl and Nancy Wilson suffered for their dramarama.
I'm not at all sad that hippie-chick from small town Idaho went home. (A kid from camp last summer just moved to Rathdrum. True story. He probably knows her. It's that small.)
And they sent the Osmond home! And the cute class-president kid. Utah-haters!
Paula's evil eyes will haunt me forever.
Who are your favorites so far? I kind of like that androgynous punker guy, even though I don't usually like raspy, bluesy shriekers. And the black girl who was the only "Diva" who got to stay sounds great. And the oil-rig worker continued to surprise me.
There, that's about all the energy I can muster for Hollywood week, Parts I & II.
I'm not at all sad that hippie-chick from small town Idaho went home. (A kid from camp last summer just moved to Rathdrum. True story. He probably knows her. It's that small.)
And they sent the Osmond home! And the cute class-president kid. Utah-haters!
Paula's evil eyes will haunt me forever.
Who are your favorites so far? I kind of like that androgynous punker guy, even though I don't usually like raspy, bluesy shriekers. And the black girl who was the only "Diva" who got to stay sounds great. And the oil-rig worker continued to surprise me.
There, that's about all the energy I can muster for Hollywood week, Parts I & II.
Hollywood week part 1
Now that I know there were only 150-something golden tickets given out, letting bozos like bikini girl, girl with cute dog and guy with cute little brother through is especially egregious. Are there really that few decent singers left in the entire country? I'm betting bikini girl makes it through just to annoy me.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Randy said...
BANOODLES.
Which everyone knows is a term used exclusively for critiquing dance.
I'm reeling from the synaesthesia.
Which everyone knows is a term used exclusively for critiquing dance.
I'm reeling from the synaesthesia.
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