Top 12 out of 36 divided by three divided by four times three equals 12

12, 12, and 12? Top boy and girl go through? Wild card? Huh? I’m confused already. So how’s that gonna work? Is it on four nights this week? Results on Tuesday and then performances? All I know about Wild Card is that Clay Aiken was one and I loved Clay Aiken.

Jackie Tohn: Doesn't ‘tohn’ mean tuna in Spanish? French? And what’s with the outfit? It’s like a cross between Minnie Mouse and a Bratz Doll. It was a’ight – better than average. I kinda like her Janice Joplinesque voice.

Ricky Braddy: Elliot Yamin did that song in S5 and it was WAY better. I think I like his velvet blazer, though. Is it burgundy? If so, then I like it even more. Oh jeez, I’m pulling a Paula and saying something nice about everyone – I gotta knock that crap off. Dudes. The judges – they’ve been sippin’ from Paula’s cup.

Alexis Grace: She’s fun – I like her style. Chica can sing the blues. Sultry! We got a hot one in the house! Paula’s getting all choked up – DRINK!

Brent Keith: Ladies and gentlemen, we have the return of the “Country Western Squat and Bounce”. Is that a razor blade around his neck? Is this how he copes with Simon’s critique? Kara: “rangey”???

Stevie Wright: What was that?

Anoop Dog: His Hollywood song was way more engaging. This was a little bit snoozy, but I like him.

Casey Carlson: Oh, this is so horrible. It’s like I’m trapped on a crazy, cheesy cruise ship and she just won’t stop. I saw that trainwreck coming the minute they said she was doing The Police.

Michael Sarver: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anne Marie Boskovich: I think that was pretty good – I can’t find anything to make fun of. Am I tone deaf, ‘cause the judges didn’t like it so much? She’s cute – maybe I been duped on account of that.

Stephen Fowler: Oh, poor guy – he thinks he’s doing well, but ‘tis not so.

Tatiana Del Toro: She actually has a great voice. Too bad, ‘cause she’s kinda batshit crazy. They need to muzzle that laugh, though.

Danny Gokey: Ooh, I hate that reaching out to the camera maneuver. That was a’ight. I wanted to like it, but it was just a’ight.

So wait, three people go through? I thought he said one boy and one girl earlier? What’s the third one, then, and where will he/she/it come from? So then there would be nine – how does that make top 12? I still don’t get it.

Going through (I much prefer venturing on the going home - sooooo much easier): (three, right?) Alexis, Danny and Anoop dog or Tatiana (say it ain't so)? Not going anywhere (ever): Casey and Stevie.