Strikes and gutter balls

What?? I come home from a week in London and NO ONE has said a thing on Idol Snark the whole time? Just because you're all busy searching for jobs, raising babies, grading term papers, and being reality tv stars is no reason to ignore your Idol obligations. C'mon.

So, I just finished watching last night's disco party, and I'm taking a snark break before I watch tonight's results.

Lil is such a goner. They didn't even bother talking to her before her song, just launched right in as if to get it over with quickly. Yeah, it was kinda generic, but I actually thought it was pretty lively and fun. Nonetheless, the judges had their resigned sighs and disappointed comments pre-written and memorized, so all that junk inside that trunk (seriously, Lil; badonkadonk!) will almost certainly be going home, and that's probably right. Lil (defensively) reverted to the "I had fun" defense, before Simon had even had his turn to talk. Drink!

This was a delightful and surprising performance from Kris. I was just getting worried that it was too all-the-same when they dropped into that percussion break. Cool. (And speaking of cool: A plain white T? That's a lot of restraint for the styling department.) Kris might be my current favorite. I think Ryan has a little crush on him, too; they're just the right size for each other.

Gokey. Gak. He messed with all the best parts of the song, and not in a good way. And he lisps! Why do people with speech impediments make it to the finals on singing shows? Put the Go in Gokey! Please, America.

Allison's outfit, hair, makeup -- fabulous? or trainwreck? Discuss.
I like her. This wasn't my favorite performance from her, but still gutsy and fun.

Okay, I suppose Adam was amazing, but I want him to get back to uptempo stuff. He probably figured that turning a disco song into a ballad would make him stand out from the rest of the funk and earn him creativity points; too bad half the other contestants had similar ideas. Simon said the vocals were "immaculate," high praise indeed from the King of Snark. (But as Adam pouts, trembles, and emotes crocodile tears, I have to recall that he's a theater kid going way back.) I do love how humble Adam is without seeming gee-whiz who-me Mindy Doo about it. Way to give props to the band, arrangers, and vocal coaches week in, week out. Class act, dude.

I liked Matt's Saturday Night Timberlake vibe. I thought he might seem beaten down or cautious after nearly going home last week, but not so much. I think he might edge out Lil and Anoop to sing another day. Does he ALWAYS wear that hat? I don't remember.

Anoop: Lame. Totally forgettable. Going home.

So, have I just become accustomed to Paula-speak after all this time, or is she now a close second to Simon in relevance, creativity, and coherence? I loved her Men Who Shop in the Women's Department trope; enjoyed her Strikes and Gutterballs metaphor; and had to rewind when she said she's learned to trust her "visceral response." Really?? Go Paula!

Meanwhile, Kara just gets more annoyingly ridiculous. Notice that tonight the judges went back to the old strategy of speaking left to right each time rather than cycling through different orders, BUT, Kara messed it up and spoke first after Kris sang, despite Randy trying repeatedly to set her straight. For most of the show she just repeated anything Randy said, which is a horrible strategy since most of what Randy says is largely incoherent and devoid of meaning. And then she said Adam looked like "the guy from Saturday Night Live meets Clark Kent." Huh?

Randy IS right about one thing: all these guys can really sing, and vocally this is a very talented top seven. I think it comes down to which ones are the better all-around performers. That might sound like stating the obvious, but I don't think that's always been true in the past.

Okay, enough from me. If the rest of you can peel yourselves away from your hectic and grippingly engaging lives long enough to tap out a few comments, I'd be much obliged. Oh, and welcome to Tom, who comes highly recommended by Darla.