Kansas City -- We Have Bad Teeth!

Oh, the montage of David Cook makes me all goosebumpy. Remember how bad his hair used to be? I sort of want him to put a baby in me. Do the think the Castros have a parent who is a dentist? They have such pretty straight white teeth under those terrible heads of hair.

"The package" is not a good singer, but I think she's adorable, with her winking and her cowboy boots. I fear she's going to stick around and annoy me like Coalminer's Daughter did.

Oh, opera dude, you can't say you "gave up music" when you're 20 years old. That was just you being a distracted teen. And why the beard? Everyone looks so OLD in Kansas City.

Has anything good EVER come of singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow? Oh this is awesome, this dawning horror and the lack of speaking on anyone's part.

I like the girl with the many names and the grandmother and her "crazy pills." I have crazy pills, too!

These two sisters who are rapping are endearing. I know it's terrible, but I giggled like mad when Simon said he wished he "had a sister like that." I do too, Simon. For the record, Z and I had a field day when they brought the blind guy out last time. "I just don't SEE you in this competition." "PLEASE let him sing a Ray Charles song." And then Ryan tried to high five him! It's like the producers want us to be evil.

I don't believe this guy with the dead wife. This just feels totally fake. How long ago did his wife die? I'd still be in bed, I wouldn't be going to auditions. I know I'm evil, but I'm just not buying it. I do think he has a good voice, so I'm hoping he rests on that and not his poor dead wife.

I feel like the judges were really asking Anoop to "be less Indian." The comments about looking too "high tech," too dorky . . . I call xenophobia.

I'm loving all the background music they're using . . . Neko Case, Death Cab, Adele . . .

The guy with the medal--that's Christopher Guest, no? The dog got up and left the room when he came on the screen.

I'm also trying to figure out what Kara's role will be. It seems that Paula copies whatever she says, which can only mean that Kara is going to put a knife in her back down the line. For now it's fun to have another woman in the mix, particularly one who seems to know what she's talking about. The montages are better this season, ya?