Sing what you want night!

It’s been awhile since I snarked here. My life has lately been filled with RuPaul’s Drag Race, Petula Clark, and research papers. However, I am back and snarkier than ever!

I’m watching AI via Tivo now so I can fast forward through all the wasted time. (I would have watched it live, but Twlight arrived today, so I had to watch that first. Don’t judge me.)

Anoop… Yo, Dawg. Did he keep that jacket from Michael Jackson week? I wish there wasn’t a live audience. They don’t need to boo or cheer. It’s more annoying than Anoop’s performance. I thought backup singers sounded awful here, too.

Sleeve Girl…This song is kind of boring, and the vibrato is doing nothing for me. She sounds a little Regina Spekterish. She just followed the cameras with her eyes. I think I drink now. Booooooooooooooo! I want to see a smackdown between Kara and the audience. It makes me nervous when I agree with the judges.

American Idol stars in concert in Boise? April 24? It’s tempting.

Gokey… I have a feeling Paula is going to be a mess by the end of this song. What the hell? Paula is bobbing her head like she’s headbanging to this song. He’s one of those singers whose head might explode when he hits certain notes. I notice a touch of Bryan Adams. “From the first note to the cadence…” Maybe I don’t know what cadence means, but I don’t think it means what Paula thinks it does. Everybody hump Gokey’s leg now!

Allison… what’s with the teenage girl lucky voice? It’s very Miley Cyrus and Rachel Ray? Is there something that happens to girls’ voices that cause this? I’ve had a cold this last week, so I sound kind of raspy. Maybe I’m becoming a teenage girl? I like this song, and I like the rock twist she’s putting on it. She’s got a big voice for being so young.

I don’t like Scott’s hair. It’s a bit too puffy. The song was fine. I still don’t really dig him.
I wish the judges would stop bickering. It’s distracting me from my own snark.
Matt… I have no idea what he is saying. This may or may not be what I sound like when I’ve been drinking. “Loshandimsecuryafoumelyingothflor….”

Oh, Lil. I’m fascinated by the wigs, but I’m not so fascinated by the notes that are off. And again, the distracting backup singers! The canned backup vocals at the Petula Clark concert were less distracting!

When there isn’t a theme, the show is just boring.

Okay, audience. Now they’re just booing whenever they want. If a judge said, “I don’t like Chicken McNuggets,” the audience would boo.

Adam… Interesting he’s keeping this hair do. I think it’s better when he looks like a rooster. Did he just rub his hand across his crotch? He certainly knows how to scream… I mean play to the audience. At what point does his style become screaming and not singing?

Paula’s going to bust out of her top. Kara: “It was like Studio 57 up there.” I don’t get this allusion. I just googled it, and it could be anything from a production company to a salon to some guy’s MySpace page.

Kris is my favorite of the evening. Maybe it’s because I like the song? Maybe it’s because he’s dreamy? (I don’t care that he and his wife cook in matching aprons.) I don’t know about that last note that came with a bit of a gopher face, but it was still good.

I just turned AI off to find this horrible Osbournes show. Oh… my…God.